Personal Hygiene and Aliens

Dear EJ & Maggie,

Do I look dirty to you?? I got dragged off to the "Cleaners" last week! It's a place where lots of animals are, so I guess it's a pretty nice spa...as spas go. There were 3 GIANT poodles, one small one, a cat, 2 ponies, goats, a duck, and some humans there. One of the humans- a cute young lady named Amanda- brought me into a room where there was a giant tub and she gave me a bath! I hardly knew her and it was a little uncomfortable bathing in front of a stranger. I was hoping she would mention my skin tags- you know how self conscious I am about them.  The Landlady just stayed outside sipping lemonade and playing with the Muppet. I did feel better when it was over- and someone made a comment about my body not being quite as pungent...whatever that means.

Does this floor make me look fat?

I've been hearing some strange noises around here lately so I decided to investigate. I poked around a bit and discovered aliens living in the hostel! I borrowed the LL's phone to show you proof- 

Now...tell me this isn't the weirdest thing you ever saw! I think it stays in the basement some of the time.

But I've seen evidence of it in other places around the hostel too. Do you think I should call the authorities? 

Sometimes it watches me from the stairs....it's  REALLY unnerving...I could only take 4 day time naps yesterday I was so distraught!!

Do you think I should find other lodgings for awhile? 

Or am I being silly- the Muppet sure doesn't seem fazed by it at all. I've even seen him chase it!

I'm not sure an old girl can take all of this excitement. Oh well, I'll do my best to deal with it until you two get back.