DOGNAP!!

Dear EJ & Maggie,
Holy Crap! Where were you when I needed you! The Land Lady tried to DOG NAP ME!!! She forced me up that damned plank and into her car and then drove off! Of course the Muppet rides in front- but I held my dignity and pretended it was "Driving Miss Lilly" time. I didn't put up a fuss. You would have been proud of me.

Where the hell are we going??

What were you thinking when you left me with these people?

I have NO idea where I am!

There'd better be food wherever we are going.

So...the ride wasn't all that exciting. We just went down the street to visit some people with a big garden and lots of woods behind their house. Of course, the Muppet got to run free but I had to be on a leash like an idiot. At least we got to go inside and some people fussed over me- but there was NO FOOD! I cased the joint about six times and allI found was a bowl of water. To make matters WORSE she drove to some Bongi place on the way home and I was tortured for miles with the smell of fried chicken.  All I got was NUTRO & peanut butter back at the damn hostel. You'd better be having the time of your lives to have forsaken me here. All I ever get is three walks a day, two meals, and people who drool all over me making such a fuss and racket! 

Clams in the Fridge and Barking for Fun

Dear EJ & Maggie,
I think you should come home on the next plane!! I caught the Landlady using your credit card to make frivolous purchases online. She bought the most ridiculous thing- just wait until you see it. It's a long scratchy plastic board that she puts on her car and then she makes me walk on it!! It's kind of like walking the plank. I don't mind doing her stupid pet tricks when she puts crackers down- but she expects me to do it WITH NO REWARD?!? What's up with that?

I can get her back very easily by barking at nothing while I skulk around the condo. Usually I can get the muppet going too- Then she gets REALLY mad. If I keep it up too long she makes me get into my bed. JEESH! Sometimes she wants me in there and other times she wants me to get up. I wish she'd make up her mind for God's Sake. The only time I ever get any peace and quiet is early in the morning when she's gone. 

PS You didn't tell her that I really don't like those heart worm nuggets, did you?? I think she expected me to eat it without any peanut butter. But I showed HER!


PSS I over heard her say something about saving those  stinking clams you left  and putting them in you bed when you get back here in December. That will be repugnant, won't it? Are you excited?? I can't wait!!

HBDEJ

Dear E.J.
I want to wish you a Happy Birthday. I'm sad that I can't spend it with you- but I'm sure you are having fun with Maggie.  The Muppet and I will drink a toast to you!

Boot Camp and the Mysterious Bottle of Poo Pourri

Dear Maggie& EJ,

You didn't tell me you were sending me to BOOT CAMP!! What is it with these people?? I was having a nice early morning snooze when That LAND LADY decides I have to go out to pee!! To make matters worse she took my bed away so I couldn't climb back into it after I came inside.

The Stupid Muppet gets hungry really, really  early- so I have to??? I don't mind the eating part- but THEN I had to go out and do laps around the compound. What's up with that?? I didn't sign up for this! The Muppet got to go back inside after the first lap, but I had to keep walking. It was like she expected me to do something.

I'm going to complain to the management. Things calmed down after that~ she went somewhere and didn't come back until lunch time- HER lunch time- I never get lunch around here. Did you check this place out first before sending me here?? I hope you aren't paying too much for these accommodations!

Look at HIM!!! Lazy Cuss!!      and I'M the one who has to exercise???

I CAN'T Believe this!! Thank GOD my humans are ok!!https://www.rt.com/news/350602-quake-hits-ecuador-coast/

Ahhh, That New England Grass

Dear EJ & Maggie,
You never told me how cool and wonderful the grass is up here!! I really WANT to eat some, but rolling in it is my second best pleasure.

Do you think we could bring some back to Austin when you two get home?? I'd love to have some in the back instead of that damn gravel- Then you wouldn't need to pull the weeds!! Think about it.

Smell you later,

Lilly xxx

Business as Usual

Dear EJ & Maggie,

Thanks for getting in touch~ You can see in the photo what a nervous wreck I've been since you two left. I can hardly sleep anymore!!

As for the grass eating- I only do it when the landlady's not looking. Have you ever noticed how easily she's distracted? "Oh, Look! There's a squirrel!"  And I would NEVER release my bodily fluids on that Moroccan rug!!! Are you kidding? She only lets me near it when my paws are slipping out from under me and she wants me to get up.

It is quite cool here in the Northeast- a little bit chilly in the mornings.  The Land Lady  gave me this blanket- It's not very good quality, and I suspect it was stolen off an airplane or something, but I don't complain. I'm sure she'll probably just add it to my bill.

E.J., I'm glad to hear Maggie is getting you up and exploring Quito. You haven't been taking me on very long walks recently. I know you blame my arthritis, but are you SURE it's not your lack of motivation, too? Here we go on 3 or 4 short walks each day, and I've been feeling MUCH better. I  hop up those deck steps with enthusiasm these days!! I do miss Austin~ but NOT the heat! I think New England might be nice for a change. 

Oh dear...the Muppet is starting to make a racket about breakfast.  I guess I'll have to climb out of this nice warm bed.

You two enjoy yourselves down there and don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Study hard and learn lots of Spanish. When you come back I'll teach you Caninese (Dog) and then you'll be trilingual!

Smell you later,

Lilly xxx

PS The Muppet says hi. I STILL don't understand why HE gets preferential seating.

My Roommates

Dear EJ & Maggie,
I'm not too sure about the roommate situation.The Muppet is kind of an idiot- and the Landlady fawns all over him when she could be giving me attention. I see him on the COUCH with her and I think he even gets to sleep in a human bed. I'm not sure because of that stupid gate they put up to keep me on the first floor. I did manage to get up there when I first arrived- and it didn't really seem worth the effort to climb those stairs.

Land Lady and the Muppet

There's also another fur ball that I see once in a while. She moves really fast so I haven't been able to see her too closely, but I think she reminds me of that Grumpy Cat you see on You Tube. I let her know that she is NOT welcome on my area. The Land Lady moved my bed so I can't always see her coming-so I suspect she gets preferential treatment here. That doesn't seem fair- but maybe she and The Muppet pay more rent than I do. Regardless, she's ugly.

The Furball

 I really can't complain about the food here. It's what I'm used to~ and I even get breakfast in bed sometimes. At least it seems like I will. The Landlady brings it over- but then makes me crawl out of bed to eat it. I wish she'd just get me one of those bed trays instead of teasing me. It's hard for an old lady to get up some days. You know how my arthritis kicks up once in a while.

Oh well, Gotta go- It's time for my midmorning nap.

Smell you later.

Lilly xxx

The Adventure Begins

Dear EJ and Maggie,

 I thought I should keep you informed of MY new adventures seeing as you two decided to have some without even consulting me. The landlady seemed a bit teary when you left this morning- but I just ignored her and she got over it.

 The new place isn't so bad. There are lots of people who fall all over me even when I just look at them. Sometimes they laugh, but I'm not sure why. I went for THREE walks today- one was to that nice patch of grass that was conveniently placed at the front door. I do like to relieve myself there, but I also discovered that the grass is fun to roll in~ especially when that Dani girl, her sister and Mom are rubbing my belly. Another nice place to roll is right near the sign out in front of the new place. I think I startled the landlady when I threw myself down to roll. But she's going to just have to get used to it if she expects me to stay here for any length of time.

 I have to apologize for exaggerating my sadness before you left. Hell, you should feel a little guilty for leaving~but I was kinda milking it. I've been doing little trots around the house with more of a pep in my step this afternoon. Yesterday I even ran up the stairs of the back deck.

 I REALLY wish you hadn't shown the landlady that "standing in front of me to back me up" trick. She does it all the time- and it's no fun to bark at all the neighbors. That little Muppet runt thinks he's got a good bark, but I let him know mine's MUCH louder. Besides, I can slobber on the glass door much higher than he can. I guess he's not so bad though- as long as he doesn't steal any more of my treats. Gotta go now..It's time for me to get the Muppet to nag the landlady for some food. He's much more annoying than I am. I'm hoping I can get his food too when he's not looking. That worked once, and will probably work again. Hope you're having a good time.

Smell you later.
Lilly xxx